最近~

最近,随着妈妈的习惯,常常做两件事。早上起来,第一件事就是喝果汁。不过这可不是从冰箱取出来就可以喝的果汁，而是要费点心思，把水果削皮再切成粒状再放入果汁搅拌机内打出来的新鲜果汁。材料如下：

把以上所有材料加入少许水之后打成汁，就是味道不错又对身体有益的果汁了,当然不可久留,否则变质了就没有营养价值了,最好就是直接喝完!

第二件事就是跑步了,说跑步好象有些不对，因为只是快步走,哈哈。每天早上要六点就爬起来的确有些懒惰，不过还是难逃老妈的“狮吼功”，投降乖乖起身，哈哈，懒虫上身。

今天，偶然中遇见了他的奶奶，我们谈起天来, 很是高兴。他大姐二姐最近怎样她都一一告诉了我,唯独是他， 我没有勇气问下去, 因为我懦弱，自己真是个 没有用的家伙。我到底是怎么回事,怎么星期天看见了他之后就一直想起他了呢? 拜托蔡婉芬,你怎么那么多事呢?

他就快生日了,我想把戒指还给他, 再送礼物给他, 当做砍断我自己那根刺吧！可是今天看见facebook有人写了一句话, “ If it still hurts，you still care”。 这句话正很用力的往我心里敲,我看了之后，心忽然痛了一下,为什么我还要那么在乎他呢？算了吧，顺其自然, 能忘记就忘记，不能的话就继续装傻吧。

乱~

每次回来古晋,不自觉的我又开始胡思乱想了,应该是因为这里是一个充满回忆的地方,一些放不下的人事物都在这里... 我不得不承认我是一个念久的人,一段逝去了的感情就算过去了,在我心里依然会有所保留... 每当看见相关的一些地方,事物,人, 甚至是一首歌时,心里都会有所触动... 所以啊,有时我真的害怕回来,回来了总会让我想起许多事,许多''如果'', 许多愧疚,许多遗憾, 许多不安... 事实一直在告诉我,一切已不象以前那样, 可是心里却一直告诉自己''以前我们曾经...'', ''以前我们常来这里...'', 许多''以前'' 把我的心情搞得好复杂, 很乱, 毕竟回忆这种东西你像抹也抹不掉,它会一直锁在你的潜意识, 在你不经意的时候跳出来和你招手,可怕吗? 我想把那份礼物送给他,免得我看见时,又触景生情; 我想把戒指还给他,免得我又再一次手痒的戴上,心又再痒... 说了那么多,其实是有点想和他见面的,明知道不行,却又心猿意马...可以见我一面,把我骂醒吗???

荒废了好久好久的部落格,我又回来了...

窗外的大雨把我的心情又再次沉淀在忧郁的空气里,突然好像又回忆起了好多东西...

我不喜欢忘记,因为我喜欢做有回忆的人

好多好多事让我想起了家, 朋友, 当然还有你

来到这里读书,真的什么都变了

变得我也不再认识自己了

不是吗??

突然, 好想回家...

为什么一颗心要承受装载两个人的重量?

往往无法负荷

导致

休刻

停止跳动

或许

两分钟的脑部缺氧

可以让自己再次进入昏眩状态

可是

一旦

不行了

又要再次用力呼吸

让自己恢复清醒

反复的挣扎

为的是什么?

满足自己?

还是配合大众?

已经不再清楚了

生活已变成一种模式

必须照规定的伦理走下去

若一旦与大家的想法有偏差

就会被大家指指点点

所以

我只好

照大家的意思

去生活

.A great Sunday!!!
1.Slept until 8 o clock this morning
2.wake up and had my breakfast, bread with Tuna, simple but nice.
3.Had lunch with my 3 8 gang, ayi, ah gen, huey wen and hui shang at wing's cafe.
p/s: i really love my housemates very much, what should i do? stay in kampar or leave? Dunno...
I really love this place so much, so many nice people here, get used to the day of boiling water and
cook for ah gen and ayi, 3 8 with huey wen and yan fen, crazy with hui shang.... reluctant to leave
westlake la...
4. tomorrow maths test!!!! ish... my splendid Sunday end up with ''indulging'' myself in maths...
what to do? i chose this route so i have to finish it on my own....

Bye bye...

来到金宝已经超过一个月了,自己一个人生活也开始慢慢习惯了,偶尔真的会怀疑自己是否真的那么坚强?回想起当天在机场的那天,我并没有流下任何眼泪,也不懂为什么,可能潜意识告诉自己必须在爸爸妈妈面前显得成熟点,勇敢些,不要他们担心吧... 可是我这个读到感性文章都会哭的人,你说,我坚强吗?

今天,在学校,老师给我们说了一个感人的故事,播了段感人的短片,猜猜看我的反应? 答对了,我哭了... 不敢有太大动作,深怕班上三百多对眼睛会朝我这里看...我真的好想家哦,从来没有觉得家原来这么温暖过,从来没有试过没有粽子的端午节,没有妈妈亲手做的粽子的端午节算什么端午节呢?? 没有爸爸叫我阿肥的日子真的难熬,没有我家死胖弟和我争东西真的真的不是我的日子... 现在这种日子,这种生活,谁能体会我的感受呢?我现在真的好想哭,好想回家,好想妈妈可以每天叫我起床,煮好吃的东西给我吃...我不介意你唠叨,不介意你罗唆,我只要你们,爸爸妈妈...

还有我们家的小宝,我也好想念他,我每天只给他十五分钟,要他多花时间在功课上,其实心里是多么的不舍...又怎样?? 我们之间隔了一片海,那,是多么的遥远,你们可以想象吗?远距离恋爱本来就不容易,我早已料到...不过,我相信只要有一份信念及坚持在,不管是几公里的距离,也绝对不是问题...我们一起努力吧,罗小宝!

有你陪我入睡的感觉真好,
因为你会因为我的咳嗽声而醒来关心我...
有你的感觉真好,
觉得自己安全多了,
不在寂寞孤单...
谢谢你,
让我找回那失去好久的感觉...

just wanna say, i really miss u......

I have been waiting u the whole night yesterday, but people who called me wasn't u...
I admit that i was not in the talking mood, i dont even know what crap did i talked to him last night...
I just want to know where are u... It was only u in my mind...



Why u disappeared last night??? where are u???


I have to wait for another 12 hours to meet u again... sigh...
Do u know that i mean what i said?
I really miss u......

李先生出事了...不懂为什么我顿时心里有些不舒服,感到心疼,或许,每个他都是特别的...都希望他们没事...
周先生~ 好久没有联络了, 应该还是为他的武术疯狂付出吧, 多保重,别把武术当饭吃...
郑先生~下午他还发简讯给我,问我去读书的东西,希望他工作可以顺利愉快吧...
詹先生~每年他生日都会发匿名简讯给他,是我不好,对不起...
林先生~每个星期都看见,却又假装看不见, 因为我还很害怕他, 不想再让自己麻烦,心乱...
李先生~刚才说过 ,希望他没事,好好读书准备考试...
郑先生(二号)~好像好久都没把彼此当回事了...
余先生~每天都有联络,只是目前他最能左右我的情绪, 我不会允许他闯入我心房,绝对不行...

1,2,3,4,5,6,7

都特别,都可贵,都是曾经铭心刻骨,所以都没有忘记...

即使

都已

不再

眷恋

我不喜欢你说你不懂我

Suddenly, i remember of this poor little thing ~~~ my ''neglected'' blog
hahahahaha(see the date for the previous post.... OMG...)
I was so emo last time, hiahiahia...

Well, the ''last time'' seems to be so full of stories but now the''present time'' is so empty, dull, boring, odourless, colourless, and tasteless( fulfill the characteristic of pure water, LOL...)
I wanna add in some impurities in my life la, at least to lower down the melting point or raise the boling point,(OMG, am i crazy? yes i am C:) i wan some chemical reaction to occur in my boring life(Kill me, or else i shall die of boredom)
All my friends have started their school life, i mean most of them, but i am still waiting for the day to come... why it seems to be so looooooooooooooooooooong, sigh....

emptiness + boredom = DIED FISH
POOR little thing....

KEITH URBAN TONIGHT I WANNA CRY


Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

(Chorus:)
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

i love this song... though it's quite 'old'....

蔡健雅 当你离开的时候

我只能低着头发呆
让回忆渗透脑袋渐渐变空白

我把它当做个意外
但内心还想不开
因为我明白其实你都还在
我想起了你给我的感动
想起我们之间的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺
把你整个心都叫给我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我可以当作已释怀
他对我也算关怀他看不出来

我知道这样不应该
在他身上找依赖
算不算是种出卖因为你一直在
我想起了你给我的感动
想起我们之间的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺
把你整个心都叫给我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我想起了你给我的感动
想起我们之间的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺
把你整个心都叫给我
然而到后来我什么都没有

越是没用力越是心痛
我想起了你给我的感动
想起我们之间的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺
把你整个心都叫给我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

想哭了

因为想你了



你又知道吗？？？

记忆总是那么的顽固，
想抹却怎么也抹不掉。。。
糟糕的是，
它又回来了

Viewed someone's blog just now....
Feel like my life is really boring lar....
Wanna have something new in my life,
wanna make some changes,
wanna fill my life with many many colourfull stuff...
Feel happy but a little envy when i saw couples(haha, sounds sour sour)

love is something actually weird,
it dives into peoples heart and can fill it up fully,
but it can leave easily,
easier than what you expect...

Cherish....

I cannot stand anymore......
Finally i mustor my courage to show my anger to my friends....
Why??
How can you treat me like this????
i only need your support,
just a little,
tiny,
petty,
small,
easy thing to do...
You refuse to help me....
the worst is,
without giving a single reason.....
I really hope that u could give me some excuses...
But,
u didn't.......
i am really very disappointed on u....
I should not trust friend anymore..........
all things are fake in this world,
love. . .
friendship. . .
all those damn stupid silly things are all sucks...
i am not gonna to trust anyone anymore.....
perhaps this may be quite emotional,
but i am sure i can't keep on acting in my life...
i am really tired..
fed up even..
Just trying to rest,
rest for the rest of my life...
forever. . . . . .

Sick today....
AH1N1 maybe.......
lolz....

Something disappeared from my life recently,
erm,
hard to explain...
Byt just feel that i am empty inside....
Lack of something....
Maybe is love...
Haha..
Sounds funny right?
But...
Maybe...
I need love......
A lot of memories Flashed back...
Found that i miss everything in the past.....
Human are really a peculiar creature,
strange species...
They do not like to cherish their present lives,
No unless until they lost it one day,
then they started to regret...
Am i one of them??
Haha...
Dunno.....
Hope that i am not....
Amazer,
try to amaze those people in your life!!!
dont just sighing none stop and crying over the split milk...
you are tough?
Isn't it?

i found many things in Aaron pencil case....
erm, then i 'steal' some of it........
hahahaha....
because it remind me of something......
a star made of straw....
and a cute pen.........
someone ever gave me these stuff....
Still remember vividly,
he bought it a Sibu...
he made the star for me....
he ever made me feel so happy,
however, he ever made me broke into tears.............
suddenly,
i think of him....
feel like crying...
but i stop myself from doing so.....
because,
everything had past.....
he is the one who did not cherish this...
why shall i keep thinking of those silly history?
i shall start my life...
new life....
keep myself away from this affair.....
chase my dream............

Finally, i pass.....
Feel happy but still long way to go o....
It's the first day of schooling today, well, many changes occur....
Erm, the most surprise stuff was, Kai and Dor have broke up....
though it's something expected earlier, but still hard to believe neh....
love is fragile...
especially puppy love...

Found that he is down,
tired,
and a lot lo.....
But, tell u mann, i am still angry o....
How dare u lost the book????
hmph.......
that book is so memorable but u dare to lost it....
Really angry lo...
anyway, u are still that special....
but i cannot forget the mistake u have done mann...
Still angry. . . . . .